HAY BAIL
Frequently Asked Questions About HAY BAIL
What the...?
HAY BAIL is the HypoActive Yearly Best Arse In Lycra award. It is normally
awarded at the 'debriefing session' following completion of the Murray to
Moyne bike ride, an epic cycle relay completing 520km in under 24hours.
I still don't get it...why on earth is there an award for that?
History
To successfully complete the Murray to Moyne cycle relay, a dedicated
support crew is required to operate the support vehicles and assist with
rider changeovers and other logistical nightmares. Between all of this
action, there is inevitably a considerable amount of inactive time spent
folllowing bike riders. Add to this an unchanging scenery across North
Western Victoria, and you create an environment where only diabetic-related
humour can pass the time effectively. Thus, the award emerged as another
terrific way to pass time while operating vehicles at around 25km/h all day
and night.
Other rationale
There is no other rationale for the creation of this award. However
post-creation rationale can be added should someone link this to something
of intelligence.
The Honour Board
2004 Damian Wiseman (NZ)
2005 Bruno Karlin (NSW)
2006 3rd Daniel Seller (Vic)
2nd Mike Morgan (Vic)
1st Monique Hanley (Vic)
How can I get my name on this prestigious award?
A word from the judges:
Basic plain black bike nics are best, other colours and ones with writing
across the back don't show the contours and definition as well and PLEASE,
no silver or shorty short shorts as worn by some other riders, its just not
a good look.
Get good fitting nics, comp is judged on best all rounder not just on the
bike so saggy nicks when standing will lose points and some nics can make
your bum look flat so maybe take someone with you when buying nics so they
can tell you what you look like from behind. Not sure if those padded
undies (like a push up bra for your bum) like you can buy in Asia would
help but you will lose points for a VPL (visible panty line).
Wear bike nics, you might think an animal print G string will gain bonus
points but nics hold everything together in a much nicer, neater package.
You can enter by photo if unable to attend in person but won't do much
good. The judges spend much time judging each entry and looking at a
variety of angles. Perhaps send in a video?
A number of riders seemed to think the judges just have a quick perve but
after listening to the conversations they quickly learnt there is a lot
involved in making that final decision
Examples:
Good:
Darker nicks with little writing are preferred over lightly-coloured lycra. Extra points may be awarded if this writing amuses the judging panel, as in the case of Gavin (Xceed shorts):
Not so Good:
Regardless of one’s professional bike riding capacities, points are lost for lighter coloured lycra:
Not so sure:
Although extra points will be awarded if you are a) Halle Berry or b) choose to complete the Murray to Moyne topless, you will lose points for the leopard-like lycra. Bad form Halle.
